Words, Words, Words

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I got about 1,000 on my novel today, so I’m excited! I expanded the scene from yesterday [that I really didn’t get to work on much] and liked what I got. It’s a first draft, so it needs work, but it adds to the troubles one of my main characters is going to have to deal with, and you know, the main character must suffer!!

I like my main characters, though, and they’re kids, which makes being mean to them difficult, but since I can’t imagine writing a book with a sad ending, I’m pretty sure they’ll come out of it okay.

There is more good news. I had fun while I was writing! No, I mean fun, like the fun I have when I blog [which is a lot]. The story is developing, and I am looking forward to sitting down and finding out what happens next, which is a little different than my previous attempts.

Before, my damned Internal Editor would take over and undermine the story, but I’ve finally managed to tie her up and lock her in a closet in the back of my brain. I can hear her banging around back there, but the noise is much more manageable, and she ain’t coming out till I’m done!

Yay, me!!

The pressure I was putting on myself to do it right the first time has let up so much. I’ve finally given myself permission to write, no matter what the words are. I’m not shying away from anything anymore, and that, my friends, is a bona fide miracle!

I don’t know if this is normal or not, but blogging is opening the doors to my creativity like nothing else ever has. It’s just different, writing something that I know will be read by at least one other person [thanks mom!].

It’s like there has been a shift in my brain. Before, I would start stories and begin to second guess what my plan was almost immediately. I’d tweak it fifty times before I ever wrote a word, and by the time I was done tweaking, the idea didn’t even remotely resemble what I’d started out to write. And it pretty much sucked. By blogging, I pick something, write it, publish it, and then it’s not mine anymore, so I can’t second guess myself.

I am able to distance myself from the previous posts enough that the urge to go back and ‘fix’ them is all but gone. That’s something I’ve never been able to do before. Now, I’m able to write however many words of fiction and I don’t have to re-read or second guess.

It’s funny because I griped one day about how I needed to edit my previous posts more, [still haven’t done that*g*] but what I really needed was to learn how to NOT edit all the damned time. I’m not editing a word of my manuscript until the first draft is completely finished. If I need to, I’ll put a sticky note in the file where I forgot to put something in, but the edit will wait.

As for my blog posts, I’m thinking what you see is what you get, good, bad or ugly. Maybe I’ll edit them someday after the kids move out and I have some free time. Bwahahahaaa!!!!!

Blog ya later!

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About Shelbi

Work-at-home wife, mom of three kids, and caregiver for my brother, who has Cerebral Palsy. Never a dull moment, in other words. No idea how much I'll post, since I'm super busy these days, but maybe I'll get over here once in a while.

2 responses »

  1. I think that maybe this Wednesday was my favorite in a long time. No pressure, just hanging out. I sometimes feel like I would like church so much more if i wasn’t there so much. I think I get overwhelmed (or is it underwhelmed?) with all the people who don’t really know me, but have the undeniable urge to “get all up in my business.” I wish that everyone had a small group, and I don’t mean that in the church-programming way, but I mean I wish everyone loved each other like I feel we do! It’s nice. Well, its more than nice, but I’m humble with my word choices sometimes.

    And then I realize that I forgot if ITS or IT’S was the right way to spell (that word) in the above context and it bothers me so much I almost want to erase this whole freakin thing and quit. But instead, I’ll save it and quit, and forever be reminded of The-day-I-forgot-grammar-school-grammar.
    My life sucks. 🙂

  2. Yeah, the hanging out part was cool, it was the quizzing in the middle and the chaos at the end with the kids that killed me. We gotta do something to calm things down a little.

    It is wonderful to have a small group to connect with. At the first church I went to, it was so small that all we were was a small group, and it was like family for a long time. Having that again is simply wonderful!

    I wonder if that’s why so many people avoid church altogether, because they don’t connect with anyone. If you’re closer to people at [work,the bar,etc.]than at church, what’s church got to offer? You sit in a pew, sing songs you may or may not have ever heard, listen to a sermon, and go home. If you’re new, someone might notice you, or not.

    I know that when I first started going to church [over 10 years ago now… yikes!] I went because the pastor wouldn’t marry us if we didn’t go some where. By the time we got married, I wanted to keep going because I liked the people.

    If I hadn’t liked them, I doubt I would have kept going. At the time, I wasn’t all that interested in God. Things changed, of course, but it took time. Time that I might not have had if I hadn’t connected with some one.

    Oh yeah, thanks for not deleting, Lindsay!

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