Unfortunate and Frustrating

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This is part of what has sent me into a spiritual upheaval. It may seem painfully obvious to you, but it hasn’t been to me until recently, and I’m not happy about it. Actually, I’m disappointed and feel betrayed by numerous people I have held in the highest esteem.

All people are biased.

Quick definitions (bias)
noun: a partiality that prevents objective consideration of an issue or situation
[taken from OneLook Dictionary search]

partiality that prevents objective consideration of an issue.

Jeez. How I couldn’t realize that before now is beyond me, but that’s where I am. For years, I was immersed in the Religious Right movement. I believed that it was a good thing to ‘get back to basics,’ and, distill the gospel, I guess you could call it. I listened to my preachers and the religious leaders of my particular group, and when they said, “Vote your conscience,” I did. Or at least I thought I did.

What I really did was vote their conscience. I voted largely based on the candidate’s views on things like abortion and gun control. With the things I have learned in the past couple of months, those candidates were just as morally corrupt [maybe more so for bringing religion into their political platform and still lying about a bunch of other crap] as the other guys.

I voted against the ‘baby killers’ and voted for the people who [I am just finding out] would completely disregard, ignore, and allow the deaths of the poor, physically disabled, mentally ill, and anyone else who can’t pay them money for protection.

I feel so angry and hurt and frustrated and betrayed by people I thought were able to be objective about things. I believed them when they told me that the homosexuals have an agenda to destroy the family. I believed them when they said you can’t be a Democrat and a Christian at the same time. I believed them when they said that laws to control or outlaw assault weapons would infringe on my right to bear arms.

I believed them because I thought Christians were supposed to have the inside track on figuring out the truth [or is that Truth?] I believed that the religious leaders were smarter and more educated than me, and that they took their roles seriously and wouldn’t misinform me, because Christians are supposed to be objective and honest.

Objective and Honest.

Is there anyone in a position of power who is? Is there anyone on the freaking planet who has managed it?!?

Yeah, yeah, the Liberals are slanted against certain things, and unfair, and biased about others.

But so are Conservative Christians. We are just as bad. And that’s what pisses me off, because we’re not supposed to be [at least that’s what I always thought.]

I hate being wrong about stuff like this because I hate to think that I have hurt others by falling for some bullshit line by some sincere, but sincerely wrong, people.

And now I have to go through every single thing I’ve believed in for the past ten years and research it and find out on my own whether it’s worth keeping or not.

Do you have any idea how much stuff that is? Egads, it’ll probably take years to get through it all, and in the meantime, I very well could be labeled a heretic by the people I love most.

But dammit, I can’t let this go. I may very well drive anyone who reads this blog nuts, but I have to finish it. I have to figure out what it is that I really believe. And it’s looking [unfortunately] like I may have to figure it out alone. I hate that.

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About Shelbi

Work-at-home wife, mom of three kids, and caregiver for my brother, who has Cerebral Palsy. Never a dull moment, in other words. No idea how much I'll post, since I'm super busy these days, but maybe I'll get over here once in a while.

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