Rudeness Sucks


I had planned to blog about activism, but I need to think about that one some more. Some things are hard to write, you know?

Tonight I want to talk about Rude People. For the most part, I can excuse a lot of bad behavior by looking at the circumstances of a person’s life, and realizing that in a similar situation, I would probably act much the same. But sometimes, there’s just no excuse.

And the sad fact is, Christians have the reputation of being some of the rudest people in existence. Even more sad is, the accusation isn’t completely unfounded.

My husband was raised in the church, and when he was in high school, he waited tables in a restaurant. He hated working the non-smoking section on Sundays because the church crowd came in. They were rude to the servers and horrible tippers to boot.

I am part of an incredible small group at church, and when we go out to a restaurant, we always make it a point to be super nice to our server [even if the service sucks] and leave a decent tip. We know that Christians suck at this, and try extra hard to show the people in the restaurant that we are fun-loving, courteous, normal, non-judgmental people. We believe that our job is to show love to everyone, regardless of their political affiliation, religion, sexual preference, race, etc., and leave the telling them they are wrong to be [fill in the blank] to God [that’s his job, and he’s pretty good at it. Also, he doesn’t convict everyone about the same stuff. Some sincere Christians use profanity, dance, smoke, and drink. There are people in the Christian faith who would say, “You can’t be a Christian if you do those things.” Hogwash Bullshit. What you do and do not choose to do is between you and God, and frankly none of my business unless you ask my opinion]

“31”When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34″Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37″Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40″The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
[Matthew 25:31-40]

I think it’s interesting that Jesus called those people his brothers. I don’t think he was just talking about Christians in those verses. And yet, so many in the church today will “help out a brother in Christ,” but they won’t speak to or do anything to help nonChristians who are having bad times.

How is it that we have become so self-centered? How is it that we have forgotten what God called us to do? Why do we think we need to harp on about ‘proper conduct,’ and disregard the humanity, the “In God’s Image,” of those who are different from us?

And how can we, who are called to be a light in a dark world, justify nasty comments, rude behavior, or cruelty to anyone? We slay each other with words every day, and think nothing of it. We don’t care who we hurt, we just want to ‘tell it like it is.’

I am disappointed and angry at the rudeness of my fellow Christians, and I am ashamed.

If it weren’t for my small group at church, I would be sorely tempted to disassociate myself completely from organized Christianity. Notice I didn’t say I’d stop being a Christian. I do my best to follow Jesus because I have experienced his love and realness on a personal level. I may expand my belief system, but Jesus will always be the cornerstone of my faith.

I am really pissed off at some of my fellow Christians, though. We have made a mockery of ourselves, showing our asses [by being jerks] to people who are not members of our particular group, and in doing so, we have made a mockery of God.

I don’t know how he stands us, sometimes. May God have mercy on our souls.

Rant off.

In other news, I finally finished scene 8. It’s chaotic as hell, but I’m not gonna fix it yet. So slog through it if you’re interested, and forgive the more-weird-than-usual-ness of this scene.

*Edited to add:

I wasn’t going to refer to the actual incident that set me off, but after another bit of nastiness, I’m gonna stoop just a little. If you’re wondering what in the world I’m talking about, go here. My main issue is in the comments, but I’m disappointed in the whole mess. I think you’ll see what I mean.*


About Shelbi

Work-at-home wife, mom of three kids, and caregiver for my brother, who has Cerebral Palsy. Never a dull moment, in other words. No idea how much I'll post, since I'm super busy these days, but maybe I'll get over here once in a while.

12 responses »

  1. Yoiks, Shelbi!

    Was it something I said in my reply to you on my blog?

    I just reread what I wrote and I don’t think I was rude or anything. But if I said something that upset you, I do apologize. I never intended to.

    I was really pleased when you said you liked my posts and I would hate for that to change. So if I said something that made you angry, please let me know what it is so I can avoid it in the future.

    The astonished,


  2. Lord o’ mercy, Hedgehog, NO!

    When I think of you, your blog, and your comments, I feel the love through your words and that’s a very difficult thing to accomplish.

    Hoo boy. I had a misunderstanding yesterday at Doug’s place [and felt like a complete dork afterward] where I took something he said, got his meaning, wrong and freaked out a little.

    The written word is a weird thing. I’m sorry I freaked you out, Hedgehog. In no way am I offended.

  3. Forgot to say,

    Don’t worry about commas and spelling and stuff with me.;)

    The MS has damaged some of my cognitive functions, so I tend to reverse letters and words myself.

    Nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody makes small errors when they write.

    I read what you wrote at Doug’s and you didn’t seem dorky to me. Anyway, Doug has a great sense of humor. He loves to joke around and play, which is very rare and refreshing when you find it. I don’t think he finds you to be dorky either.

    Now, really goodnight;)


  4. lol – I guessed what set you off even before I read your edited bit at the bottom of the post.

    I have to say you’ve totally impressed me throughout this whole discussion. You’re obviously a very nice person.

    There are nice and rude Christians, just as there are nice and rude Australians, nice and rude blondes, and nice and rude lawyers (ok, maybe there are no nice lawyers).

    Don’t let one bad apple drag you down.


  5. Hi Hedgehog, I’ve received your e-mail, thanks for that. I’ll be checking out your other pages some time today.

    Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment. I’m still a little stunned by the behavior over there.

    I probably should have stayed out of it, but I wanted to try to reason with her, you know?

    And then the commenter got all sarcastic and I just went off.

    Some things just can’t be ignored.

  6. Shelbi,

    I read your comments over at Brenda. Very eloquent. I think it’s ludicrous she shut down the comment feature again!

    When I was a teenager, I used to be a Christian / church-goer. I don’t know if I was really devout…I doubt it. But I left the church and turned agnostic because I couldn’t stand the hypocritical stuff that went on, and the fact that most people would call me “not faithful enough” whenever I asked them why they interpret the Bible to mean we should condemn and judge the homosexuals and prostitutes, and those who don’t believe when the Bible said we should be nice to everyone. My dad’s not Christian — he dislikes Christians because he says they’re the worst kind of people in the world because of numerous bad experiences he’s had with Christians. It’s really sad, even to me, that the group of people who claim to follow Jesus feel no guilt over dishonoring him this way.

  7. Hi Angelle,

    Unfortunately, your dad’s story is a common one. Not all Christians are bad people. In fact, most of them are good, truly want to do what’s right, and sincerely seek God’s face.

    We are human though, and we all have ‘issues.’ We get caught up in being right all the time, and forget to be compassionate to others.

    I’m sorry that you and your dad have been hurt by Christians.


    Thanks for the compliment!


    Thank you for stopping by. It’s really nice to meet you all, and I really appreciate you taking the time to comment.

  8. A lot of time, you’re going to find nice, considerate people who go out of their way to help others, to give to others… they are the Christians that all Christians claim to be. But they don’t shove their beliefs down other’s throat. Action, not words, yadda yadda yadda.

    The ones who do what they do and then say it’s because i am Christian is just like the person who makes a generous charitable donation and then tells everybody, oh i gave THIS much…

    You do have to show through your actions your faith, but showing should be in terms of kindness, generosity, consideration, forgiveness, humility. NOT judgemental attitudes, hatred, etc. Actions, not words, speak louder both to God and to mankind. Sadly, though, a lot of people don’t see that.

    Loved the blog, Shelbi and your comments on the…. ah… lady’s blog. I didn’t comment, frankly cuz she’s not worth my time and I don’t want to add her already oversized martyr complex.

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