I’m Still Here


But blogging erratically at best.  I'm feeling better than I was, but still out of sorts.  I decided not to finish with my Cymbalta samples since they expired a couple of months ago and I was waking up at four in the morning unable to go back to sleep.

Plus, my stomach was in a mess, and I'm still not sure if it was the med or a flu bug of some sort.  I've been fighting off cold-like symptoms for a few days, so maybe it is the flu. 

I got some Zycam quick melt tablets a while back and decided to try them last night.  Oh. My. Gosh.  How disgusting!  You're supposed to let them melt in your mouth without chewing them or swallowing them whole.  Then you can't get drink or eat for 15 minutes.

The thing is, they taste like bird shit laced with artificial cherry flavor.  No really [don't ask me how I know what bird shit tastes like, just trust me…]  So no more Zycam for me.  The other kind of Zycam available is a gel that you stick up your nose, and that's not much better, although I do use NasalCrom every year for my hay fever, but I was actually thinking of the kids when I got the tablets, but I had no idea they'd taste so bad.

I should have known, though, Zycam is a homeopathic remedy, and I tried one of those once and it tasted vaguely of bird shit, too.  So, my little experiment came to an abrupt end, and I still feel pretty crappy.

So what have I been doing with myself?  Spending time with my family.  I usually blog late at night after the kids go to bed [who can get anything done when the curtain-climbers are awake?  Not me, that's for sure.]

But that's also the time that Steve and I have to visit with eachother, so when I was blogging every day, I wasn't really spending time with my husband.  He's my best friend, and I missed him.

There was a bit of distance growing between us [that happens when you don't talk to each other much] and I realized it was mostly my fault. Steve generally follows my lead in our relationship, which just means that he doesn't insist on 'together time,' he waits for me to say we need some.

If I'm on the computer, he finds something else to do and never complains.  He's really too easygoing for his own good, and I can be pretty shameless in taking advantage of him.  He's not a doormat, but he's really sweet and patient, and I'm pretty demanding and selfish, so when I stop to think about it, I realize that I'm being a bitch and need to think about what he needs and wants for a change.

Which is what I've been doing. So instead of spending several hours blogging [and reading blogs] every night, I've been spending time with him.  Sometimes we look at stuff on the computer together, but usually we talk [or have sex, and he's not complaining one bit about that, either]. 

I'm blessed with a husband who likes to talk, and although I say more words than he does, we can carry on conversations about anything, and we both enjoy it.  So I'm spending my words and time on Steve, and that's a good thing, you know?

Am I finished with the blogosphere?  I doubt it.  But I'm probably not going to be adding an entry every day, either.  I still have my blogs that I read all the time [you can find several of them on my blogroll, although they aren't the only ones I read… maybe I'll get around to adding some more later on.]

I didn't win the short story contest I entered in March, so y'all don't get to read it, but I've realized that I need to submit some of my writing for critique, which means either finding a real life writing group here, or joining one online [which means that I'll have to return the favor and critique other people's work, which makes me nervous… I've never done it and I have no idea if I'm capable of critiquing past, "I liked it." or "It read flat for me." or whatever else horrible critters do.] 

I think my writing may fall flat or something.  I'm not much for description [that's the part I usually skip over when I'm reading, so writing it is like so much torture].  But other than that, I really don't know anything about the quality of my writing or plots or whatever else you need to pay attention to when you're writing.

A little like searching for treasure, walking blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.  So I'm in research mode again.  I plan to read the stories that did win the contest and compare them.  The judges agreed to send me my 'score' so I'll ask them for that in the next few days if they don't send it.  I may see if I can find a crit group to read it and tell me how I can make it better, and so on.

I liked the story, so I'd like to make it good enough to be publishable, you know?  I'm not giving up, and now I've got a plan of action, so I'd say this entry was therapeutic, if not coherent.

[Doug commented on 'one topic bloggers' the other day and I laughed.  A whole blog about one topic?  Hee hee.  I can't even do a whole blog entry about one topic!]

Okay, so anyway, I'll see you in a few days, okay? 


One response »

  1. I LOVED this description!:
    The thing is, they taste like bird shit laced with artificial cherry flavor. No really [don’t ask me how I know what bird shit tastes like, just trust me…] So no more Zycam for me.

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